Mentality, Consistency, Follow Through

When I was little, we had friends come to our house a lot. When a certain crew came, they raided the candy drawer like they hadn’t eaten in a week. It was quite a binge. It’s because there was no candy in their house. They were fed 3 small meals each day, and that was it. They had the mentality that they needed to get everything they could in a small period of time. Because they hadn’t been taught self-regulation by having regular access to things, they didn’t understand moderation.

To me, I had access to the candy drawer in my house whenever I wanted. Therefore, it wasn’t exciting to me. It was there if I wanted something here and there, but it wasn’t something I felt the need to covet. I do the same with my kids. They have full access to the pantry. They know the things that are “good” for you, and they know they can take that without asking. They do ask if they can have any of the treats in there, and unless it’s close to a meal time, I try to give more “yes” responses than denials (and my denials always come with a reason).

I use this story regularly in my life it seems. It seems focused on a healthy relationship with food, but it’s really an overall concept of understanding the mentality it takes to make informed and beneficial decisions all day, everyday.

DELAYED GRATIFICATION

We did a stent with a multilevel marketing company. They preached “delayed gratification.” It was meant to say that you shouldn’t spend now because you’re going to produce a significant amount of income in the future, and you’ll be able to spend greatly at that point. Unfortunately, Mr. ODA and I are too cynical to watch that unfold. We took note of every “extra” our “upline” spent that wasn’t hitting that mark.

They who would go on a big trip with the statement, “well it’s ok because it’s for my birthday” or “it’s ok because it’s the last big trip that I’m going to take with my mom.” There was always another trip. Or the big, fancy, rent out a space, decorate to the nines, buy a new outfit, birthday party that happened almost annually. There were excuses to justify these actions that were clearly against their “delayed gratification” preaching, but they thought it was ok because they were “debt free.” They didn’t buy a house, continuing to throw money to rent year after year so that they wouldn’t have a mortgage.

There was a guise of having a “big picture” mentality, but the execution of the financials didn’t add up to us. If you were really in delayed gratification mode, the $3,000 you spent on a trip could have been saved towards a 20% down payment on a house at 2.5% interest rate. That’s what Mr. ODA and I did when we had to pay for a wedding and buy a house in the same year. We set a goal to spend no more than $5 per person, per day on food. We didn’t eat at restaurants. We didn’t go on huge trips (although we did do some weekend trips to visit family). Because of those years of ‘pain’ we went through, we bought a house with no mortgage insurance, and that house turned into 4 houses when we sold it.

I digressed. The point here was that creating a mentality of “delayed gratification” is setting yourself up for failure. If you created a habit of proper spending and a mentality of being able to discern whether the cost of something is worth it to you and your goals in real time, there wouldn’t be these “slip ups” of wanting to take that big trip or wanting to fill a void by throwing a lavish party.

In February, I started a diet. I was working out for a year at that point (after having our 3rd baby), and the number on the scale was exactly the same. I felt better, but I wanted that number to go down. I started reading up on diets, and this concept I found clicked with me. If you commit to a diet that is really restrictive, you’re going to fail. If you can’t have any carbs, then you end up having a binge day to make up for that desire. The concept of depriving yourself of something is more thought-consuming than if you had taught yourself moderation.

This diet concept was to alter your eating each day so that it keeps your metabolism on its toes. One day, eat a lot of protein. The next day, eat your carbs. Go back and forth. I was consistent on this for 3 months (see, best laid plans fail – between end of school things and travel, I haven’t put the effort in), and I lost 17 pounds with little effort. I haven’t been paying attention to this eating pattern, and I’ve been stagnant again. The whole point was that if you deprive yourself of something you want, then it’s going to consume you and make you unhappy. But if you eat in a thoughtful manner, then you’re happier and have an easier time reaching a goal and sticking with it.

RIPPLES

The decisions you make today affect tomorrow. The habit formed by thinking you had a hard day and deserve a “treat,” or that “it’s vacation so we should each have a $10 ice cream at the amusement park,” have ripple effects. I have another post about how people make fun of those who say don’t spend $5 on coffee everyday if you want a better life. Most people see it as a literal $5 per day (granted, it’s more like $7 or $8 at this point), do the math, and then say sarcastically “wow I’m a millionaire.” No, it’s the mentality. It’s the concept of teaching yourself that you don’t need to purchase an expensive coffee everyday, or you don’t need to buy lunch everyday at work, or you don’t need to overspend on treats once per week.

Someone once made fun of us because we like to go exploring new towns and find hikes, while his family goes to Disney at least once per year. I’d venture to say that our trips, where we spend time with our family and learn about new places and things, are more stimulating. I don’t hate Disney (Mr. ODA does though 😉 ), but I don’t see it as something to go to every year with no other experiences. But our trips that end up costing about $1,000 allow us to go do more things. We can do more activities when home, we can go on more trips, we can put money into savings accounts for our kids.

This summer, we have plans to be in 7 states outside of our home state. My kids are extremely happy with just the concept of staying in a hotel or “vacation house.” Add in swimming in a pool somewhere, and they’re ecstatic. I don’t have a desire to teach them that vacation is when you get to eat everything you see and buy whatever trinket you want. If you intentionally spend throughout the year, you end up with things that are more valuable to you than if you buy several trinkets just because you’re on vacation (really – when was the last time your kid played with that light up spinny stick from Disney on Ice). I want to teach them the value of their time, their money, and their family. I want to try my hardest to set them up for success because they understand the value of things in the big picture, and not just the instant gratification that lasts for a couple of days because they go that little toy we walked by.

June Financial Update

Welcome to summer, where we’re traveling and I’m not posting on time. This time it was because I had to figure out a few things with bills and health before I had the time to get to the update. I can schedule content in advance, but not this post where I need the most up to date numbers when talking about our net worth.

We’ve been busy with baseball and activities around the house, so our spending was lower than it had been. However, this time of year is typically where we see a lot of our rental property expenses come through. We purchased many houses around this time, which puts their insurance payments due now. Then the City of Richmond’s tax payments are due in June and December also. The City of Richmond doesn’t post our escrow payments timely, and it drives me crazy. Every 6 months, I get notification that I have unpaid taxes and it’s the due date. I have then go through every escrow and prove to myself that they were in fact paid out over 3 weeks ago, and then I have to go back and check that Richmond posts them eventually. I stopped sending checks into them for the accounts that aren’t escrowed because it took too long to monitor, so I pay the $0.95 fee to pay via their ACH option online.

Mr. ODA had been in a relationship with a financial advisor, which was $35 per month. Over the last 3 months, Mr. ODA has been working to become his ‘apprentice.’ He passed his Series 65 exam and will begin working on this guy’s team. Not that $35 is a huge amount, but that’s one less ‘subscription’ that we’re paying monthly.

Speaking of subscriptions, we did something that I’d venture to guess other people wouldn’t put the effort into. One of our credit cards (that we rarely use) had a promotion for a $15 statement credit if we had at least $100 worth of subscription and/or utility payments go through. Most of our utilities can’t be paid with a credit card without paying a fee. The fee for our internet service was low enough that we went ahead and switched that one over for one month. Then I went into our Y membership and switched the credit card on file for that payment. With a few button clicks in May and then later this month to switch everything back, we made $15. It doesn’t seem huge, but it’s the compound of that thought process and awareness that makes a difference in your finances.

The ‘bigger’ expenses of the month were one kid’s school registration fee ($175), purchased baseball tickets (the Oriole’s don’t charge for 2 kids per paying adult!), got an oil change ($65 ugh), paid two homeowners insurance policies that aren’t escrowed ($1,371), paid for pet sitting for a coming trip ($155), paid car insurances ($567), and built a few steps in a new walkway ($275). Our deck isn’t complete because the waterproofing isn’t waterproofed. We haven’t paid out the last $3,500 on that, but we also haven’t heard from our contractor in several weeks.

We initiated a homeowners insurance claim for one of our properties. The tenant wasn’t complaining about the house/roof, but we knew the roof and soffit were in rough shape. I was hesitant to contact a roofer because I wanted the job done right. I expected the house is really old, and there would be decking problems to fix. I dragged my feet on finding someone, but I did click with someone finally. He went out and actually suggested we go for a claim to cover the replacement. We’re in the process of that now. An adjuster has been out to see the damage, and now we wait for the estimate. In the meantime, another property had water spots on the ceiling show up. I had the roofer go out there to check it out, but he didn’t see anything glaring. That roof also needs replaced, but I’m going to get at least one more quote on that job since it’s not through insurance.

All the good things (assets) went up and all the bad things (liabilities) went down! Our net worth increased by $60k over the last month.

House 4 Turnover

We had a long term tenant in this house, who moved out last Spring. We luckily had someone lined up looking for a place to live. There were a few red flags from the beginning, but I went with him because he was a friend of an old tenant of ours. Rent was always paid on time, and everything went fine. Unfortunately, there was a public incident at work in the Fall and he was let go. He asked if he could be released from the lease so he could move back home.

I wasn’t interested in making anything more difficult for them. I didn’t ask for a lease break fee; I just asked that they continue to pay rent until we found someone who could take over the property. It was winter and holiday time, which is least favorable time of year to be finding a renter. They gave notice at the end of November and we listed to house right away. We did our due diligence to get someone in there as best we could, considering it was Christmas time and the middle of winter. The tenant paid January rent on the 1st, as required. Luckily, we were able to get someone moved in on January 5th. The tenant didn’t do anything wrong to the property, so I gave back his security deposit and the January rent they had paid.

TURNOVER

The original tenant had essentially vacated the property, so we were able to get in and do some work to it. The entire place was painted and had extensive maintenance needs met over last summer (after the long term tenant), so this was an easy task to get it ready for a new tenant.

We received a notice from the city that the yard needed to be cleaned up, so we had the tenant go over there and do the work. There was a tree limb that had fallen (and wasn’t reported), so we had someone go clean that up and the rest of the yard for $100.

Several years ago, we had replaced most of the windows in the house. There were 3 windows that were either fine or oddly shaped, so we didn’t replace them. That was a mistake. We ended up spending the same amount on 3 windows this year that we did several years ago for 6 windows.

The front porch of the house is seldom used. The driveway is in the back of the house and leads straight to the kitchen door. The entire front of the house is fenced in too (the house has a huge front yard and small back yard). Due to the age of the house, that it’s a rental, and that the front porch is rarely used, it wasn’t in great condition. It was finally time to replace it. We had our handyman rip out the stairs, banisters, and floorboards to replace it all; it cost us $1,640.

The kitchen faucet wasn’t working right, so we had our plumber replace it. He also tried to flush the water heater to extend the life, but it was broken enough to replace it. We needed a special size because it fits under the counter in the kitchen, so that was $1500.

Other than a clean from our cleaner, that was all that we needed to do.

TENANT SCREENING

We had 4 sets of people show interest in the property. One withdrew her interest form after checking the sex offender registry (understandable, but it is a city home, so that’s not surprising). I was interested in another guy who was retired and seemed handy, but as time wore on, there were several red flags. Another person tried to convince us that his day-trading of stocks qualified him to pay us rent each month, so he was disqualified for not meeting income requirements. Finally, a couple showed interest, and my property manager said they seemed like a decent option in person, so we went with them. At the time, I didn’t really comprehend that one of the tenants was only 20 years old. That comes into play when he shows his age and inability to handle a mature conversation about rent payments a couple of months later.

Due to the unexpected timing of turning over this house, we ended up with an 18 month lease. We didn’t want a 12 month lease, leaving us with another winter turnover. Even though their lease started January 5th, I counted the full month and ended the lease on June 30, 2025. I like a May 31 or June 30 lease ending the best because it seems to be when the most people are looking to move. Once you get to July 31st, most people (in the southern states, at least) are looking to have already been settled in the school district they wanted.

TENANTS THUS FAR

Well, since I had plenty of posts teed up, I’m only getting to post this now, months since they’ve moved in. That means I have a sample size of their tenancy to share, and it’s not good. They’ve had a lot of complaints, which is interesting to me since the previous tenants didn’t seem to have many issues with the house. It’s a 1943 house. It’s not perfect. It’s not spacious. But I assure you, the house is exactly what you see when you first tour it. It’s a cute, little, old house.

The tenants used Venmo to send the first sets of payments when moving in. For some reason, they decided to switch to Zelle; in doing so, they didn’t follow the instructions I gave them, and are sending them to an account I’d prefer them not to, but oh well. In March, rent arrived on the 6th. I was bothered by it, but I let it go. Then for May’s payment, we hadn’t received it by the 5th in the evening. Our property manager reached out to them to ask if they planned on paying that night. They said they had already paid on the 2nd. We explained that we hadn’t received it, and we still see no indication of it arriving electronically. He sent a screenshot of his bank’s information, which did confirm a payment on the 2nd. We said ok, thanks, and we’ll check in the morning.

He then went off the deep end. He attacked us, as if we just sit around pretending we don’t receive money so they’ll send more money. At no point did he stop, think, logically read our messages, and respond politely. He continued to berate us and the property manager over this, where we carefully explained that sometimes there’s an additional verification step required so that this 3-5 day hold doesn’t affect when rent is due. He kept saying he was completely verified and that it’s our bank not accepting the money. That’s not how banks work, but ok.

He eventually agreed to use Venmo. I went back to his January payments, liked them, and ‘friended’ him on the platform so that he’d have the right account in front of him. He did pay June’s rent on time and via Venmo.

In his berating of the house, he talked about how the house was awful. The house that they walked through and agreed to rent. The house that is very small and very old, but is clean and operational. The house is nothing special, but it’s a house with rent under $1000 in 2024 and decent access to the activities in the city.

They complained that the light in the oven was stuck on. They didn’t want to pay to run that electricity in a house that already had a high electric bill. It’s an 800 sf house; if you’re paying $350 per month for electricity, I’d say you’re doing something wrong. All systems in the house have been serviced and/or replaced recently. All the windows in the house are no more than 5 years old. We had our plumber lined up to handle this for us (he’s a good guy!), but they figured out what to do differently to get the light to turn off. What frustrated me the most about this complaint was that they acted like I purposely broke their oven 3 months after they moved in (and I live in a different state), and yet I’ve been very responsive to all their requests for maintenance.

SUMMARY

Overall, everything is fine. They have a lot of growing up to do. I hope at some point they learn that you catch more bees with honey. For now, they’re there until the end of April. We’ll see how the next several months go, but at this point, I’m interested in finding someone else. Based on their hatred of the house, I expect they’ll move out on their own accord regardless.