Stories

Big Summer Trip: Part 3

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I did not intend for this to be a 3 part post, but NJ had a lot more to it than I expected. Now it’s Delaware’s turn.

We arrived in Delaware on the Cape May ferry and drove straight to our hotel in Lewes. We got there fairly late, but the room was amazing. We always seem to get the nicest places when we have no intention of being there for very long! Mr. ODA was able to book it for cheaper than we expected, and it was about half the cost of what we planned to spend on a crappy motel in Wildwood.

LEWES

Our first stop in Lewes was the Cannonball House. It was a small house by the water that commemorated the early 1900s of navigation on the water. It was free and worth a visit. Our oldest got to hold a real cannonball. There were examples of how early morse code was used, and the kids got to try their hand at communicating in that language. We also visited the Zwaanendael Museum. This was also free and was very welcoming of children. There were activities for them to do on both floors, and they were encouraged to touch and explore. I wanted to do Lightship Overfalls, but their hours are very limited, and we weren’t going to be around for the timing. Lewes is an adorable, quaint town that gives New England vibes. I would definitely recommend a visit.

DOVER

From Lewes, we drove north to Dover. As I’ve mentioned in the past, we love to see the state capitol buildings, so this is a must for us if we’re nearby. There were no assigned tour times, just that the tour needed to conclude by 1:00. After visiting, I’m assuming this was because the lady giving the tours just does tours as people show up, but she wants to leave by 1. She brings her german shephard to work with her, and she was just the sweetest pup. This lady doing the tour was incredible. You could tell she cared a lot about the history. She spoke with enthusiasm instead of regurgitating data memorized. Her dad served in the House in the 1930s too! The security guards and this lady were very welcoming. We shared the awful NJ experience with them, and they said they hear it often. We ended up staying there until 2:30 when the kids finally made it known that they had to get moving and were tired of sitting around while we chatted. We walked around the area and visited the original capitol house. It was so hot, and we were hungry, so we had to give up exploring and fix that.

We grabbed some Wawa sandwiches and found picnic benches to eat our late lunch. There were quite a few homeless people around, so I kept my head on a swivel. Our youngest left his water bottle at Wawa. When I went back for it, the worker laughed and said “oh honey, you’re in the hood. That thing is long gone.” I actually laughed in her face because nothing about Dover felt ghetto or unsafe having grown up on Long Island and visiting Queens and the City.

We came back on another day to visit the Air Mobility Command Museum. This was also free. It had planes that were open for us to explore, an old air traffic control tower to explore, and several areas with things to learn about war planes and the history of communication in the military.

MILFORD

Our visit was to a friend’s house in Milford. We didn’t explore very much of Milford itself because we went to the beaches, but it was a great little area. One afternoon, we went to Big Oyster Brewery for happy hour. It’s a bar with a playground area for the kids. The weather was great with no humidity, so it was a lovely afternoon hanging out there.

BEACHES

The first day, we went to Cape Henlopen State Park. It was $20 for a day pass to enter. The beach was lovely. Mr. ODA likes to play in the waves, so we went to a place on the ocean. Turns out, the two older kids absolutely love playing in the waves also. We were on the beach for about 4 hours. We went to the food truck for lunch. It was really expensive, and, other than the fries, not great. There are lots of trails to explore the area there, but we just drove around to get the sights instead of taking tired and cranky kids on walking trails in the heat.

On the third day, we visited Rehoboth. We got there at 9:30. Parking starts at 10, which is also when people start showing up. When we got there, there were hardly any people. It filled in as the day went by. We spent 4.5 hours on the beach that day and had packed our own food. We rode a few rides at Fun Land and walked the boardwalk. We wrapped up with ice cream on the main drag. But the place was just so crowded that we were happy to head home for dinner.

SUMMARY

So for 17 days, we explored NY, NJ, and DE. In total, we spent over $1300, which included two hotel nights, but otherwise we stayed with family and friends. In DE, we bought groceries, some meals out, parking at the beaches, and gas, so the total spending came to $340 for the 4 nights we were there.

Big Summer Trip: Part 2

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I discussed the first half of this trip in a previous post. We spent over a week in NY visiting my family, and then we went to NJ for two days and finally on to DE for several days. Mr. ODA thought we could use the opportunity to explore some areas we typically wouldn’t. Usually we’re just trying to get home, which takes a whole day, so we don’t make stops near NY. The whole trip only cost us about $1350, which included two hotel stays ($437). We were entertained the whole time and the kids had fun. 

I make these posts after our trips to share that you can explore different places, give your kids exposure to lots of things, and it doesn’t need to cost a lot of money. I see so many people save all year to splurge on one trip (e.g., Disney), when there’s a lot of learning experiences out there for little growing minds. I understand everyone has their own preferences, and if it works for you, that’s great! I just want to share another perspective of how we manage our trips and activities.

NEW JERSEY: PARKS

We left NY on a Monday morning. We explored northern Jersey for the day. Honestly, we could have spent more time in each place. I was surprised at how early we made it to a hotel.

Our first stop was the Palisades. While some parts of it were nice to see, it was overall disappointing. The park also requires payment to park in the parking lots instead of an access payment, and that was a surprise from all of our travels.

Stop two was Paterson Great Falls National Historic Park. The kids love to get their junior ranger badgers from the National Park Service, so that kept us entertained for a while. They give you a booklet and ask the kid to fill out a few pages to earn the badge. This one had a bingo game where you walked the park to find the images in the pictures and cross them off. Even the littlest one got into it. While the park and the huge waterfall was cool to see, I wouldn’t recommend spending much time in the area.

Stop three was Liberty Park. While I didn’t care to go to the Statue of Liberty itself, it was nice to show the kids it. We spent a while at the huge playground there, got some Mister Softee (my personal favorite), walked the waterfront trail, and drove around the park. We didn’t rush being there, but we were also cognizant of heading south before NYC rush hour started.

We stayed in Cranbury, NJ for the night. The hotel was outdated with a bunch of deferred maintenance, but they had an evening social hour that we were able to get a snack at. We hung out in the lobby and played card games.

NEW JERSEY: TRENTON

The next morning we had a tour scheduled at the Capitol in Trenton, which is why we had stayed in Cranbury (to be close, but not too close because #trenton). Mr. ODA booked a 10:00 tour. They were adamant that a tour had to be booked. He was given general instruction that he, logically, thought would be obvious when we got there. It wasn’t.

The first stop is to enter the parking garage under the Capitol. There’s a police officer sitting on the street and one sitting in the middle of the entrance area (not welcoming – giving “this isn’t safe” vibes). I pull up to the gate, and the man asks what we’re doing. I said we have a 10:00 Capitol tour. He seemed put off by us, but I think it was just his general demeanor. He then gave a bajillion instructions on where to go. Let me say what he should have: You’re on the 3rd floor. Go to the 1st floor. Park in visitor parking in section 1F. Do not go to the elevators near 1F. Go to the elevators at 1C.

The elevators are extremely important.

When Mr. ODA got the instructions over the phone, the lady said “do not go outside.” Out of context, that makes no sense. Turns out, behind all these instructions was a simple fact: the welcome center is your destination, not the Capitol security entrance. That is so unbelievably important. And yet, no one could clearly communicate that.

We got on the elevator at 1F. We followed the instructions that were printed and taped to the wall (so seemingly an important update because it required extra signage to be printed) to go straight to security at the entrance. We walked outside. Followed signs to the entrance. The lady at the security guard desk called the tour people to say we were there. It was 9:49.

Now, here, the security guard could have said, “it’s better if you go back to the welcome center and meet the tour there.” But nooooooo. She said “hang out in the vestibule. Do not go outside. She will come get you.” No one came at 10 for us. We kept asking what the plan was while we sat in a muggy vestibule with 3 small kids. “They’re coming.”

Turns out, there’s a welcome center. Turns out, the tour starts there. Turns out, they were going to get to us when they got to us and there was no rush.

So many failures on that part.

Then we take the tour. There are police officers everywhere, and always more than one. A buddy system. Inside a Capitol building. All over the building. That’s new to us. And we’ve been to a lot of Capitols. The tour wasn’t great. I tried really hard to ask myself questions like, “I grew up in NY, is this not good because I already just don’t like NJ?” and “I had to wait 22 minutes for our tour to start because of terrible communication and signage, am I just angry about that, or does this really suck?” It was bad. There was nothing all that noteworthy to NJ’s history to share. The tour guide told us twice that Abraham Lincoln walked the halls for one day on his way back to DC. One day. This story came up twice. Wow.

At the end of the tour, we’re escorted directly into the parking garage. Ummm, I have 3 kids who likely should pee even if they don’t say they need to go, and I need to pee. The tour guide escorted us back into the building, then stood outside the bathrooms while we went, and it wasn’t until we finally said “there are 3 cops here, do you still need to be here or can we look at the WELCOME center?” that he finally got permission from the cops that he could leave.

It was just a surprisingly terrible experience all around. We didn’t feel welcomed at any point. I’ve never visited a Capitol that made you feel like it wasn’t safe around every corner and that didn’t say “go ahead and explore the building” after the tour.

We were going to explore Trenton, but at that point, we just wanted out.

NEW JERSEY: THE SHORE AND CAPE MAY

We headed south through the Pine Barrens for a scenic drive and arrived at the Cape May Zoo. That was incredible and free. There was also a gigantic playground there, but it was hot, and I was ready to move on, but in case anyone has plans to be in southern Jersey – plan a day at the zoo and park. The food in the zoo was expensive, but I justified it that we hadn’t paid to enter the place.

From there, we drove over to Wildwood. Mr. ODA and I played ultimate frisbee for multiple summers on the beach there. It was a cool experience, and I wanted to do it with my kids. Originally, I had planned to pick a hotel we had once stayed in. I figured we’d walk the boardwalk, get dinner at one of the diner type places, and then just swim in the pool at the hotel. Well, the weather had other plans. Severe storms were descending on us. We grabbed the picture of the kids in front of the Wildwood sign and decided we didn’t want to ride out the storms in the little motels, so we booked the last ferry out of Cape May.

We grabbed some McDonalds just before the ferry. Since our ferry was at 6:00, we arrived around 5:15. There’s free putt putt and a playground there while you wait, but the putt putt had closed at 5 (I was also happy that my kids were not going to be holding a metal stick with lightning strikes nearby). We drove onto the ferry just before the rain started. As we’re waiting for the final loading of the cars and people, everyone’s phones start alerting to a tornado warning. The captain had tried to pull out and get through the storm, but he ended up saying we were going to ride it out back at the dock. We stayed awkwardly near the dock but not actually docked through the worst of it. A tornado came onshore right near the ferry terminal while we were sitting still at the dock, but the rain and wind was so bad, I didn’t get to see it with my own eyes! By 6:22, we were on our way to Lewes, Delaware.

SUMMARY

Look, I hate to make a part 3 on this, but I’m tired. The Capitol tour was so egregiously bad that this post got longer than I thought it would. So here’s the update for the two days in NJ, and next week I’ll finish up our Delaware activities. For a hotel, food, and gas, we spent $315 while in NJ plus $63 for the ferry.

School Supplies

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I have heard many comments about the cost of school supplies, and someone just said to me they spent $400 on two kids’ supplies in elementary school. I spent $140, and this included all the wish list items for two teachers. Pause. According to our school district, teachers can’t put things like paper and tissues on the supply list, but they can have a wish list. I assume it’s because the implication is that everyone is expected to purchase all the supplies, but a wish list gives relief. I don’t actually know. I also note that when something is on one wish list, it’s on another supply list. Even looking at other school lists now, they’re all over the place. But have you ever been in a Kindergarten classroom? I’ll supply a years worth of paper towels, tissues, and hand sanitizer. Let’s not forget that while the district is telling the teachers they can’t ask for these basics, they’re also not supplying it because we’ve had several years of poor budget management and just had to take a loan to pay summer salaries. I digress; let’s get back on track.

I shopped Target, Walmart, Office Depot, and Amazon. Amazon is actually awful in this area. I need 3 erasers, not 60. Target was working really hard to be competitive, but Walmart won out by a few cents each time (I’m also a Walmart+ member, so my preference is buying there). Last year, Office Depot ran a sale in June that was incredible, but we were so busy that I didn’t think about supplies. Their prices were fine at the end of July, but they were slightly higher than the rest.

So my main order was $84.97 from Walmart. Then I had to order two packages of white cardstock and a wireless mouse through Amazon, which totaled $22. My second needed a new backpack, which was $33. Here are items we are reusing from last year.

  • This is actually the thing I was most proud of: Ticonderoga pencils. I bought a 96 count of unsharpened pencils last year for $11 (they’re $11.87 this year) (DO NOT SEND UNSHARPENED PENCILS). I sat one night, watching tv, and sharpened them myself. If you purchase a 12 pack of these pencils already sharpened, you will pay more than double per pencil than what I paid. Everyone sees a 12 pack or 2 12 packs are requested, and that’s just what you purchase. If you stop and think, you’ll see that those few dollars will make a difference. So I purchased these last year, sent in what was requested at the beginning of the year, sent in what was requested for this year, and I still have 24 pencils waiting for the next request.
  • We plan to reuse the pencil boxes from last year, but my mother in law has mentioned she’s getting them new ones. She puts their name on them with Cricut. I said let’s just fix the name on the ones they have, but she had already purchased them. This is $1 I didn’t spend (they’re $0.49 at Walmart).
  • Each child needs a plastic blue folder and a plastic red folder. They’re plastic and don’t leave the classroom, so after one year, they’re still in excellent condition. This wasn’t about the money, as this saved me $0.92.
  • Last year, I bought a giant pack of glue sticks. I figured as teachers asked for supplies during the year, I could easily grab and send in. No one ever asked for glue! I was able to provide all requested glue sticks for this year from the left overs. I needed 24 sticks; Target has a 30 pack for $7.49 right now.
  • We are reusing the headphones they used last year. My son has had the same ones since K and is going into 2nd. Sure, there may be a time that they die and I need to replace them, but there’s no reason to purchase new every year if they’re working. Target has wired headphones for $5. Now here, when I first purchased them, I went cheap because my thought was, “surely these will get broken and I’ll be replacing them constantly, so I’ll stick to $5 for now.” Well, they’re about to enter their 3rd year.
  • We are reusing my son’s wireless mouse. My daughter didn’t need one last year, so I had to purchase her one. I spent $10. Pro tip: I added the battery to it before I put it in her supply bag; don’t make the teachers add batteries to everyone’s on the first day. 🙂
  • In the November of last year, my third got into preschool where he was wait listed. Instead of buying him a new backpack, I handed my oldest’s Paw Patrol backpack to him and my oldest got a new one. I purposely had him pick a JanSport because they last. I also purposely had him pick a neutral of some sort so that it’s not a fad that he’ll want to replace in a year. Long story, but he wanted black and that wasn’t unexpected. My daughter picked a $17 clearance backpack at Kohl’s. It was purple and sparkly, and it was so her. We didn’t go shopping for a backpack at the time, but she saw it and wanted it, so I let it happen. Well, it was $17 for a reason, and it barely made it through the school year. I pre-picked 4 or 5 JanSport options during a Target 40% off sale and she picked a pretty, neutral (black with small pink bows) option. With the sale, it came to $33. Again, great that it’s on sale, but the point is that I’m also making an investment in something that’s going to make it through many years, so I would have paid full price if I hadn’t caught the sale.

All in all, had I purchased everything, even down to another backpack, my total would have been $230. And that includes substantial wish list items (e.g., ziploc bags of all sizes, paper towels, tissues, hand sanitizer, all kinds of printer paper and cardstock). I purchased name brand where it was requested – Crayola, Ticonderoga, Elmers, Expo.

Circling back to what made this post idea: I looked up this one person’s supply list. It is about half the size of what I was asked to provide, and I would have spent $39. If I add the wish list items in, it would have been another $36.

People are quick to complain about the cost of things, but they’re not willing to take the time to stop and think. Did you purchase out of convenience? Did you buy name brands where the brand probably doesn’t matter (e.g., a Ziploc sandwich bag doesn’t work any differently or better than a Great Value zipper sandwich bag)? Did you purchase things because it’s on the list without considering reusing items? Did you purchase things that you already have in the house that are adding clutter?

So, if you’re reading this, please realize you have more control than you think.

Big Summer Trip: Part 1

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We took a 17 day trip, and it went much better than I thought it would. There wasn’t any reason it would go poorly, but we’re managing 3 kids and a really long time away from home, so I was reasonably worried. We usually go to NY to visit my family each summer. It’s an easy time to get there for a solid week and make the 12-14 hour drive worth it. This year, I decided I was finally up for the adventure of visiting Mr. ODA’s friend in Delaware too, so we locked it in.

TRAVEL TO NEW YORK

My niece was getting baptized and turning 1. My sister had planned a few options for her baptism, but there were some snafus, and it ended up working out that she could plan both events on one day. It just so happened that these events fell the week before a family wedding in NY as well, so it solidified our travel plans without much effort. The only problem was that the two older kids were in camp until 5 every day the week before. So we needed to get from Central KY at 5 pm on Friday to Long Island by 12 pm on Saturday. No traffic, no incidents creating longer stops out of the car, etc. and it’ll take 12 hours to get there. And that it did.

We picked the kids up at about 4:45 pm. We drove a few hours until it was time for dinner. We made a quick stop for food and then drove until 9:30 when we stopped for gas and got the kids situated for sleeping in the car. I was worried it wouldn’t go well because there’s a history of kids crying because they can’t move freely once falling asleep, but they made it the whole night. I was very happy and impressed. Mr. ODA drove from then until just after 2:30 am. I probably got an hour of sleep that whole stretch. Then I took over and we pulled into my dad’s house at 4:45 am. I was worried about getting there before the sun came up so that the kids wouldn’t think it’s day time and would go back to sleep, and we were cutting it close. I put the two big kids in a room with it fully blacked out and then I slept with the youngest in a twin bed to make sure he understood the assignment. He struggled, and we had light peeking in at 6:15, but we got back to sleep until 9:20.

NEW YORK ADVENTURES

Baptism and first birthday party took the whole first day, and the kids actually did pretty well considering the lack of sleep. Then we spent the rest of the week either in my dad’s pool or at a beach, except for the one night we went to a wedding. We traveled to Fire Island for a day to visit family friends. My dad has ferry tickets from his days working on the island, so that didn’t cost us anything, and we just paid for parking. The family that is there vacationing offered us lunch, so there weren’t any costs for being there.

While in NY, our costs are usually minimal because we stay at my dad’s, and the goal is to just be around family, so there aren’t huge expenditures. Our total spent in NY was $400. Just under $100 was gas, and $25 went towards EZ Pass (who knew that starting our EZ Pass journey in NY when we lived in Albany would pay off for so long because now we have a NY-issued pass that gets us discounts for traveling over NYC bridges).

Our biggest expense was the night that Mr. ODA and I went out for dinner in a waterfront town. We had dinner and drinks and spent a whopping $135. It’s super out of character for us, but, on that note, it’s also nice to spend time just the two of us, which is rare. My dad and his girlfriend took the kids for the night. They had the time of their life! I was really nervous, but it was totally worth it for them, even if they didn’t get home until nearly 10 pm! I love that they have those memories.

We didn’t make it to NYC. We had planned to be in NY for a couple more days than we ended up doing. We also didn’t plan to have so many activities while we were there. Being that the first two days were significantly busier than I anticipated after a night of overnight travel, I wanted that Monday to be more relaxing on the kids and not so stimulating. Then we planned to go to Fire Island on Thursday, and I was worried about dragging them through NYC and all that walking instead of resting. As Mr. ODA started mapping out a plan, it seemed the costs were going to be higher than he thought. So between the cost and the anticipated kid behavior, we didn’t end up making it there.

TRAVEL TO NEW JERSEY

For the second phase of the trip, we spent two days in NJ and then moved on to Delaware. We had originally planned to be in NY until we went to Delaware on that Wednesday, but Mr. ODA thought we could use the opportunity to explore some areas we typically wouldn’t. Usually we’re just trying to get home, which takes a whole day, so we don’t make stops near NY. It was definitely worth it, but that’s a story for the next post.

SUMMARY

The whole trip only cost us $1350, which included two hotel stays. We were entertained the whole time and the kids had fun. All the time in the pool ended up giving the kids some new skills. The littlest one started swimming independently. The two bigger ones grew so comfortable that they started working on dives and flips into the pool. They also were diving for things at the bottom of the pool, which was fun to watch, and not something they felt comfortable doing in the past. It may be time for us to invest in our own pool. 😉

“Rich”

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There’s a lot of chatter online these days about a “90s summer.” I’ve also been fed some reels about what “rich” looks like, and it’s not about money or flashing the perception of money. Mr. ODA and I are working very few hours these days. My job is because I’m a “helper” in life, and I know this group needs my help for a bit longer (I also tried to quit and they said no). Mr. ODA’s job is to qualify for health insurance so we save about $1500 per month in direct expenses for health insurance.

When I first started working, my goal was to climb the ladder. I wanted to be the youngest CFO in my Federal agency. Then a 34 year old woman got the job and crushed my dreams a bit, but I was still a good amount younger than her, so I just needed her to move on in the next few years. Then I went to DC. I left the house between 5:30 am and 6 am, and I got home between 4:30 and 5:30. I kept looking around thinking, “when would I see my kids if I had them?” In fact, we were denied adopting a dog because we both had full time jobs. That still fascinates me. During my fight to climb the ladder in DC, I realized that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to live a few miles from work where I could have more free time. I wanted to own a little piece of the pie, so to speak (my job in DC was very high level, but I loved working with the State level where I could actually see the road and bridge projects I approved in progress). But even as I made that transition, it didn’t feel right. I wanted to be home with the kid I was about to spend $30k to have. I didn’t want to put all that money into making a baby for him to sit in daycare for a whole work day and commute time (I get it – it works for people, but not for me).

FIRE. Financial independence, retire early.

While our path didn’t go as we expected as we learned more, and we both worked longer than we intended, the goal was always the same – be home with our family while they’re little. And that’s what we have. Even when I took this new job, I said my kids come first. I didn’t sacrifice in all those ways before kids, give myself freedom, and then take on a full time job. Most people struggle to understand that. Even the agents who I’m paying $600k each year can’t understand when they hear I don’t “need” to work.

So that’s my rich. I’m at the kids’ school all the time. I’m at nearly every drop off and pick up. Heck, I discharged from the hospital AMA so that I could get to a baseball game in May. I will be there. I will be cheering them on. I will lay in bed at bed time, read them books, and then ask them about their day while they tell me the most obscure things…but it’s because they just want to fill that time where they get to talk to me without a sibling interrupting.

I’m not driving a fancy car. I’m not living in a 7000 sf house just because I can. We’re not going out for drinks and sitting at restaurants multiple times per week. We’re not going to the movies every month (umm, actually, or ever, unless it’s the $2 summer flicks series). I’m making my money work for me, so that I can focus on pouring into my kids and enjoying the time of their lives that they actually want to be around me all the time.

Disclaimer: I am not personally making my money do anything. That’s all Mr. ODA. I’m just the bookkeeper, collecting rent and tracking what’s happening and trusting he has the answers on how to move the money around.

Fall Creek Falls

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We took a trip in June to Fall Creek Falls in TN. We had looked into it a couple of years ago, but it was hard to find things to do and places to stay. This year, less people were planning to go, we have a big trip as a family planned later this year, and so we went for it. It was a nice relaxing trip.

The grandparents graciously pay for the lodging when we do family trips. We had a nice big cabin for 12 of us. We purchased food to eat at the cabin, which was really the only option because there was hardly anything for 25 miles. The first day, we went hiking and swimming in waterfalls around the park. It was supposed to rain all day, but we made it out only getting rained on towards the end of the last hike for a little bit. The next day, we hung out for the morning, went to rent some canoes ($10 for one hour), found a swimming hole, and then some of us went hiking a bit more.

I usually do trip summaries when we get back so we remember what we did and share how much we spent. In this case, we spent about $40 on gas, about $20 on meals during our travel, and about $50 on groceries. With that, it’s hard to accurately portray what we spent because it’s not the full picture since we didn’t pay for lodging. But I’m making it down that we went on a trip for 3 nights that was nice and relaxing!

Camping Trip

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We have a summer full of trips planned, and stop 1 was camping. We took the kids camping in the fall, and they didn’t stop talking about it for weeks. It was a purposefully quick trip to be able to gauge how it went. We got there in the evening, just before dark. In the morning, we packed everything up and then went for a hike. The consensus was that we needed two nights because they wanted more time to enjoy the camp site.

We planned a two night trip to Zilpo Campground in the Daniel Boone National Forest in Kentucky. The reservation for the campground cost us $70.62. We drove there, but that gas usage was nominal. We put a lot of time and effort into planning the meals for that duration, so that cost us about $20.

We stayed in Loop H, which is a place we had stayed before. I love how tree covered the entire loop is. Our site was H17. There was a path down to the water, and the kids enjoyed swimming there. There’s a beach area at the campground, where we spent a few hours. We did a hike off Deer Loop. And we roasted lots of marshmallows!

We planned the trip a few weeks ago, so we obviously didn’t know how the weather would turn out. It rained for a bit on the last morning, but hardly any of our things got wet thanks to the tree cover. The unfortunate part was that a humid wave came into town just for the time that we were camping. The week before or after, and we would have had a nice high 70s day with low 60s nights. Instead, we had highs in the 90s and lows barely breaking below 80.

A simple post for a simple trip. 🙂 Not to mention, we got away from home for 2 nights and spent less than $100!

$1 million 401k before age 40!

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Mr. ODA’s retirement account surpassed $1 million last month!

Mr. ODA and I worked for the federal government. Our retirement account is called the Thrift Savings Plan, but it’s essentially a 401k, and includes a 5% salary match on contributions. My parents were adamant that I put at least the amount in to get the full match, and to increase my contributions as I received raises. Mr. ODA entered into my life and said I was to max it out no matter what, and so I did. The point here being he’s maxed it out from the beginning. I worked for about 11.5 years, and he worked for about 16 years. My last contribution was May 2019, and his last contribution was October 2025.

I share this background to make the point about compound growth. The max I could have contributed over my working time was about $190k. The max Mr. ODA could contribute was about $305,000. So that means that based on $305,000 of his own money, he now has a valuation of over $1 million.

Year in Review

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MY YEAR

This year was nothing like I expected it to be going into it. I’m not usually one to say it’s been a hard year or look for a “new start” with a new year, but this last year was challenging. For one, raising 3 kids is not for the weak. But I started the year on an HOA board, working as a financial consultant for a few hours, and serving on the city’s Landlord Advisory Board. I eventually handed the Landlord Advisory Board off to Mr. ODA and let go of the financial consultant work, but ended up on 3 HOA boards. Lucky for me, one of the boards has someone who works even harder than me, so that’s requiring very little time of mine. The last board sucked me in because the same management company works with me in my own neighborhood, but that also doesn’t take much time. And with all that, let’s not forget that I took on a part time job.

When I left my career in 2019, I had no intentions of working “long term.” That was the goal from the start – get rental properties to cover my salary, and not work again. Well, it turns out, my brain likes a challenge (and a different one than figuring out why a child is whining for the 687th time today). I’ve held several temporary positions (e.g., Census, horse race meets) that fill some time, make a little money, and then I move on. When I was approached with an offer to work in an office on a set schedule, I cried. That was the furthest thing I wanted. I laid out all my expectations, particularly that my kids come first and I quit working so I could be at all their activities, and they obliged. I’m severely overqualified for the position, but I know I’m helping. I have a strong desire to help people. Ten months in, and I’m still there about 22 hours per week. It doesn’t seem like it’s a lot, but it takes away my flexibility. Having to coordinate that I want to be at a kid’s activity during work hours is frustrating. The work that I’m doing have daily deadlines, so even on the day’s that I’m only supposed to be putting an hour or two in, I still have that hanging over my head.

On top of all the things I was managing, Mr. ODA took the Deferred Resignation Program. He stopped working on April 30th, and we collected a pay check until the beginning of October. It was a blessing that he wasn’t working because we didn’t need to figure out childcare for the kids over the summer while I was working part time. But it’s had its own challenges navigating the change in expectations and daily dynamic that we’re still learning.

FAMILY

We basically let the kids do one activity each, but there’s wiggle room. So during the last school year, our oldest did an after school activity that met once per week (e.g., checkers, kickball) and baseball. I absolutely love going to the ball field. Our middle has held steady at gymnastics for just over a year, which is once per week. Our youngest is gigantic and athletic, but he only just turned 3 so he hasn’t been eligible for any sports yet. His big news of the year is that, after being waitlisted at the start of the school year, he’s now going to preschool twice per week. He started that in December, and it’ll go halfway through May.

We tried our hand at camping with the kids and dog, and it went very well. We went on a cruise and visited western KY, WV, NY twice, and OH. We took the kids skiing multiple times, and they did really well.

FINANCIALS

Mr. ODA had a 6 figure job with the government. That pay check, as I mentioned, covered through the end of September. I worked as a consultant for a school startup, worked part time nearly all of the year, and subbed a few times at the kid’s old preschool; these things brought in over $22k.

We did quite a few things to bring in extra income throughout the year too. I consigned some of kids things and brought in about $800 to offset Christmas. The credit card rewards we took in was over $2k. Mr. ODA does ‘shops’ (secret shopper), which brought in just under $1500. Some of that payment accounted for food reimbursement, but we see it as a way to eat at a restaurant as a family of 5 without it being ridiculously expensive. Then other random reimbursements from companies that we were owed are added in, and our “additional income” (i.e., income that I did not project at the beginning of the year) totaled over $43k. Each year, it ends up being around this number that we bring in outside of wages and rental income.

SUMMARY

This is really just a way to account for the crazy that was 2025. We accomplished a lot. It came at a cost of family dynamic and happiness. But now that we’re a few months into 2026, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. We have some changes that we’re making, and I am hopeful that I’ll have my flexibility back, and the ability to do things that brought me joy back in 2024.

Insurance Decisions

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Last year, Mr. ODA took the deferred resignation program offer. As part of this offer, we kept our insurance through the end of September as normal because his pay check continued as normal. After the separation, we kept our policy for 30 days and then could opt to keep the insurance policy for 18 months. Opting in meant that we had to pay 100% of the cost of the policy, which is $1,906 per month.

Around the time that this decision needed to be made, an opportunity came up in my office to join their insurance policy. With the coverage offered by my employer, it was still going to cost us over $1700 per month. There were several red flags from the insurance agent, and there was gap coverage, which would have required me to submit claim information to a 3rd party to get further coverage. As someone who has to fight nearly every EOB that comes through my mail, I really didn’t want to take on having to also submit it and manage that request. In the end, we decided it wasn’t worth the risk of losing the “enemy we know,” nor that I would eventually quit this job and we would lose that insurance.

Around the beginning of the year, Mr. ODA discovered that insurance premiums are only considered “pre tax” if they’re through an employer. So since we are paying our own insurance, it doesn’t count. That started a quest for Mr. ODA to find a part-time job that he could get insurance.

He interviewed several times with Lowe’s. There were several bumps in the road over the last couple of months, but he’s ended up with a cashier position near our house. He needs to work at least 13 hours a pay period to qualify for their insurance. Their insurance is not great. This is a gamble.

Here are the questions I asked myself during the process.

  1. Are our current doctors in network? The website has a way for me to search by doctor names and practice names. We have moved a lot in our life. I had a few doctors I saw in Fairfax, VA. Then we moved to Richmond, VA, and I had a few other doctors I liked. Actually, when we decided to move to central KY, one of the biggest “against” items were the doctors. I loved my ob-gyn. I loved the kids’ pediatrician. I loved that there was a kid urgent care near our house, which we used when our oldest split his forehead open. We moved just outside Lexington for a few years, and I settled into a routine there. Less than 2 years later, we moved into Lexington, and I needed to start over with the doctors. It took me some time to get into a routine, but I now have myself and all the kids on routine check up schedules with a primary care, dentist, and eye doctor. So while I COULD get new doctors, it just isn’t something I’m all that interested in figuring out. At this time, it appears all our current doctors, except our eye doctor, is in network.
  2. How much is it going to cost? Currently, we have a high deductible plan. Even with that statement, you’ll be surprised to find out the deductible is only $3,800. We haven’t hit that yet this year though. When the kids go to the doctor, it’s about $81 until we meet the deductible and it drops to about $5. Going forward, this policy has a $20 copay for all regular visits and no deductible. However, urgent care is a $100 copayment, and there is $0 covered for an ER visit. That’s scary. I use the kid’s urgent care pretty frequently. I also have used the urgent care by my house (although it’s terrible) more often than I use my doctor’s office. Having to gauge whether something can wait until tomorrow’s office hours or if it’s worth $100 copay is going to be a stressor I wish wasn’t there. I’m also expecting that everything will shake itself out.
  3. What is the coverage like? There are a few key things I’m looking at in the summary of benefits. There are the simple ones like, “is it a copayment or coinsurance” and “is there a deductible?” Then there are more complicated ones like, “are routine dental visits covered,” and “are diagnostic lab work and imaging included?” Both of those are no. That’s concerning. However, there is supplementary insurance options that will get us vision, dental, and accident coverage (e.g., ER payment). This is less than ideal, as it was one of the reasons that I didn’t want my employer’s insurance, but I will figure out the process to submit claims for extra payment. If I’m not working, I’ll have better time to manage that.

The cost is a glaring win on this less-than-stellar policy. For $186 per pay check (every other week), we get this insurance. That’s about $372 per month, give or take those extra pay checks that shake out. Essentially, that’s $4,800 per year. Currently, our premium is $22,872 per year, plus a $3,800 deductible that has to be met. The difference is glaring. So I’m hopeful that our sick visits being a $20 copay and the occasional need for urgent care at $100 per visit will still not exceed the cost of the policy we currently have. Plus, the policy we currently have is painful to manage, so how bad can another option really be?